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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.
I'll tell ya, in New York City, where I've lived far too long, 'fuck' isn't even a word, it's a comma.
Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts.
What's a bag of chips divided by five, that's a Nike worker's meal.
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
I am so pro-swine flu -- I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
