Latest stand-up videos
Best short quotes
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say, "Yeah? When?"
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
I guess the lesson to be learned from the [Catholic] church is that while homosexuality is a sin against GOD, molestation and rape, well... they're just sins against a child.
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before.
Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.
What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
