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Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know where I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job... and I don't want it.
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven.. Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.
Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: "A truck!"
I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies -- and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking. I just gotta bring the heat.
As long as you're a tax deduction, you'll always be safe in my house.
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
